Recently I have been feeling a little bit down – kind of hard on myself.
In helping my parents move, I came across some of my high school report cards.
Not surprisingly the only subjects I liked were dance, cosmetology and French. I always thought I did extremely well in these classes; I was surprised to see barely passing marks.
The teachers’ responses were “Jennifer tries”.
I got to thinking what else do I think I’m good at but I am not…
With one thing leads another… Then I am putting myself down about my weight or the bad acne I have…
Am I good at my job? Should I really have had that chocolate bar? Or I should have worked out while I was watching that TV show…
I had to remind myself to love myself.
If you want to have a beautiful outside, you need to have a beautiful inside.
- Looks Don't Define You
If you truly want to love yourself, you must not allow the way you look to define your personal value. It can’t be what dictates your worth to have joy, family or a promotion at work.
The people who know and love you the most really couldn’t care less about your weight, skin tone, or hairstyle.
When you do find joy, family or that job promotion, it won’t be the dress or the shoes or the shade of your lipstick. It will be the passion in your voice, or ability to write beautiful words, or paint amazing paintings, or explore creatively.
Although I am married now, I do have to remind myself that my husband didn’t just marry me because of my looks, he married me because I am an honest, caring, goofy person.
- Let it Go
If you are to redefine the love in your life, you must first attempt to reconcile previous experiences of heartache.
We tend to carry around the tiny fragments of failed relationships, folded up neatly in our pocket. We let them weigh us down.
We’ve all been hurt. We’ve all been let down. We’ve all had that someone who didn’t message back, or stood us up on a date, or put our hearts through the blender.
We’ve all been left feeling exposed and vulnerable, our trust abused and our egos bruised. You can’t resent these feelings, for that would be handing them more power than they deserve. That would be handing them our futures.
We need to forgive. We need to move on. We need to let go.
I always felt like I had to learn from the experience. What did I learn from that person, or that situation?
- Impress Yourself
You are absolutely amazing, don’t treat yourself otherwise. You might need to occasionally remind yourself, surprise yourself, woo yourself.
Write a short story or poem. Draw or paint. You might surprise yourself!
Even if you aren’t brilliant at it at least you took the chance and tried.
Buy your favorite tub of ice cream and when you know that you’ll need it most enjoy it. Grab yourself that bouquet of flowers from the farmer’s market; enjoy their color and beauty.
Take an evening or weekend class - yoga class, or learn to speak French, or play the acoustic guitar.
Something you like or have wanted to try.
Do whatever makes you feel good.
- Don't Compare Yourself
Life’s not a race. Love’s not a race. Stop competing.
Jane what’s-her-name might be in a long-term relationship and accomplishes major goals at work, while you’re still single and stuck in a minimum wage job.
She’s is probably looking at your life and wishing she had the same level of independence and freedom.
The grass is always greener.
Remember, when you look at someone and think “I wish I was pretty like her”, someone is thinking the same thing about you.
- Have some alone time
Whether, you are single or in a relationship, I think it’s important to have that alone time.
There’s nothing quite as empowering as getting completely lost in something by yourself.
Go to that romantic comedy you’ve been wanting to see.
Turn your phone off. See the local attractions.
Walk everywhere. Ask strangers for directions.
Try a cocktail you can’t pronounce.
Smile for no reason.
Let yourself become totally disconnected from the world as you know it — and realize that time moves on regardless, that you’re okay by yourself.
You deserve someone who makes you feel beautiful, someone who makes you feel special. You deserve to be someone’s first priority.
Regardless of the support system you have in your life, that person always has to be YOU.